“Pray to God, but row away from the rocks.” ~Hunter S. Thompson

“Pray to God, but row away from the rocks.”
― Hunter S. Thompson

Brilliant!

When asked about my spirituality, religious beliefs or the likes thereof, I'm sure that at first, I get that 'deer in a headlights' look on my face, but that is quickly replaced by my 'you really want me to tell ya' look. Religion is such a personal preference, and for me, I see it in a myriad of colors.While I have a profound respect for ALL religions of the world, I personally do not subscribe to any one of them, instead, I sort of incorporate many of the teachings into a hodgepodge philosophy that I try to adhere by always.

Ultimately, I am a realist, I believe in action & reaction, thus the Thompson quote. If praying to a God brings one comfort, for goodness sake, pray then! But eventually, that God is not going to save you from hitting the rocks that your boat is heading for, only you and your own actions can save you from such a crash. Placebo effect? YES! I think that it makes folks feel better to be able to pray to a higher being, to relieve anguish, to bring about hope. But, does it really change the course of actions already set into place? Probably not, well, more than likely not.

How can one religion think that it's 'book' is any more true than that of any other religion? Throughout history, cultures have created religion for comfort, and to answer questions that really can not be answered. It has brought about comfort to people in crisis. It has also brought about control through fear. Religion has also been responsible for more killing, in the name of any God, who in all religions, says that killing is wrong, but it's ok as long as it promotes converting more people to that particular religion? I'm sure that if there is a God, he or she did not have that attitude in mind when creating commandments or any doctrine.

Hypocracy also keeps me from subscribing to organized religion. Why is ok to 'sin' away and be forgiven for these sins by confessing to a man hidden behind a black curtain? Shouldn't one have not commited said sin in the first place? A person then either lives with the idea that they can do whatever they want, no matter how morally wrong, because they can in turn just pray it away, or live in a constant state of guilt and fear of being condemned to hell. A question that resides in my head is, if there is a heaven and hell, and the Christian God is all forgiving, then why the need for hell? If through prayer and retribution, you are forgiven, then why would this God send you to hell then?

I believe in Jesus. I believe he was a man who was mortal.. I believe he was a good, kind man, who spent his days helping those folks around him in need. Do I believe that he was created through immaculate conception, no. I believe he, through the years and through the words of biblical creationists, became nothing short of a fable, no different than Paul Bunyan or Johnny Appleseed. Do I believe that he was hung on a cross to die? Probably. But I do not believe that he rose from the dead to ascend to 'heaven'. Why? because science and common sense have since proven that it is not possible, period.

Ultimately, I have great respect for people of faith. I'm glad they they have some hope for a future after death, but for me, the question of what actually happens after death goes on unanswered, I mean, it's not like someone dies, and comes back a year later and says, "dude, you're not gonna believe this"...so, in the meantime, I will continue to live as I do, treating all creatures, human and otherwise, with respect, and as I would like to be treated, following the per say 'Golden Rule'. To quote the lyrics of a band, The Avett Brothers, "Me and God don't need no middle man", for I am the one who has to live with my decisions, and look into my own eyes in the mirror, and know, that I am a good person, even when no one else is looking...

I Don't Care If The Grass Is Greener, I Just Want To See For Myself...

“…we are brainwashed by our economic system until we end up in a tomb beneath a pyramid of time payments, mortgages, preposterous gadgetry, and playthings that divert our attention from the sheer idiocy of the charade. The years thunder by. The dreams of youth grow dim where they lie caked in dust on the shelves of patience. Before we know it, the tomb is sealed.
Where, then, lies the answer? In choice.
Which shall it be: bankruptcy of purse or bankruptcy of life?” 
 Author Unknown    

             

Those who know me, who really know & love me, know that, I am not crazy, well, not any more insane than most, but I am different, ahem, special, hehe...I am finding that the quality in me that is most unusual is my desire, deep yearning for freedom. Ultimate freedom. Yeah, it would be wonderful to just pack up & disappear, no responsibility, no bills, but obviously this is not reality, for anyone, unless you have an unlimited trust fund or something. I'm not blind to such obligations, I have after all, been a single mom for over 10 years. Honestly, these years have been challenging, scary, lonesome, and rewarding all in the same breath. No matter what situation I find myself in with my little family, the one thing I always yearn for & never really, truly have is freedom. My life is dictated by the pressures of 'normal', hold a job, support the kids, give all my money away to sustain a meek existence, with nothing really to look forward to, except the next day, another mundane day. Money arrives in my hand after a long pay period stuck in a soul sucking office, only to go right to pay the bills, & leave me wanting more, not really more money, just leaves me feeling empty. Defeated, that I don't have money to take family vacations, or weekend getaways, nothing much really, there seems to never be extra, and we live pretty small, really. My days seemed to be filled with unlimited daydreams & wants rather than fulfilling experiences. I really need to be able to travel, desperately, & my soul feels the deep need to get out there & see the world, from all angles, not just through a book or the internet. I ramble to my closest friends about my dreams, my desires, to which they all kind of roll their eyes at, as they all think that it's all just a bunch of hooie. Well, I'm serious. I WILL live out my dreams, whether I have to hop a train, live full time in a tent...hell I don't care, really. I just want to be out there...fresh air & new sights, frequently gracing my existence. I often question myself, why am I so restless, so bored so quickly. Well, I am Sagittarius, & these attributes are a primary trait our my sign. Not that I'm saying I base my daily activities on this fact, but it is a strange coincidence. I also think, that I have inherited some of this nomadic nature to my dad, Criss Leroy Furman. Most of you have probably not heard 'our' story, & I will spare you the gory details, but, he & my mother divorced before i was even a year old. I had regular visits with him, & my little sister Lily (from a marriage after my mom). Then one day, when I was in the 2nd grade, he just disappeared, like into thin air disappeared. I had zero contact with him until I was 13 years old, of course by  then, he was a complete stranger, but I still loved him, as I do today, & I am thankful for the handful of times I have seen him since. He is deeply scarred by many unfortunate events in his life, the biggest being the most obvious, the Vietnam War. But, I am convinced that, he, like me, had this deep seeded need to roam, to see things previously unseen, to meet new people, taste new tastes, to just take it all in, from a new perspective all the time. Obviously, I can't just take off as he did, but I would be lying if I said that the thought had not crossed my mind, or that I haven't had to force myself to keep going the intended direction on the highway rather than veering off toward the mountains when my pocket is full of dough. I guess where I am going with this rambling note, is, someday, when I say that I'm outta here, or checking out, I really mean it...& I know that one of these days, in the not so distant future, it will happen for me...